the woe of traveling

is meeting people that you know you will have to part soon and might never have a chance to see again. I often try to persuade myself that it's all worth it, being able to make special connections with people you hardly know, sharing so many beautiful moments and the joy of life, learning how to live better each day. It's a little bit easier when the connection is platonic; friendship is something that I can try to keep through the internet. But if it's romantic, what am i supposed to do?

Arriving in Chicago

I got to Chicago on Christmas day and got picked up at the airport by Trent and Jordan, whom I'm staying with for these few days. On the train home, we were brainstorming on the must-do, must-see of Chicago and only two things popped up in my mind:
the wind - which I wouldn't have to go out of my way to see, and
Al Capone and the gangs way back in the 20s - something I could learn about by sitting at home watching movies like The Untouchables or Road to Perdition.
I could not think of a monument, a landmark, or a neighborhood that would epitomize the experience of a tourist in Chicago, despite its name being one of the most instantly recognizable. I shouldn't have been surprised. I knew there must be tons of fun things around Chicago; it's just that I rarely ever do much research before hitting a place, relying mostly on local "informants". It also increases my chance of running into pleasant surprises, which is exactly how it has been here in Chicago.

That day, for dinner, we decided to walk on Broadway, the neighborhood's "Main Street" to see what was open. Something caught my eyes, and I pointed it out to Trent and Trent exclaimed: "Oh, they have a Vietnamese Association here." I was actually pointing to a red neon lights blinking bubble tea shop - one of Trent's fascinations - but Trent thought that I was pointing to the old building next to it, the Vietnamese Association, which I completely overlooked until that moment. Scanning my eyes further down the block, I realized that the businesses were all Vietnamese, from income tax, to travel agency. And it was at least three blocks - that's how far my eyes could see.

It was exciting; I'd never seen a Vietnamese enclave like this before - which might change real soon since I'm heading to the West Coast. In Connecticut, it's one plaza in West Hartford, consisting of a big Vietnamese (more like pan-Asian) market, a restaurant, and a DVD shop. In Manhattan, it's one lonely side of Baxter street in Chinatown with 5 or 6 Vietnamese restaurants next to each other.

We walked into a Vietnamese restaurant - Pho Tank (Phở Xe Tăng) and were each given a thick menu. I had never seen such an extensive list of phở, bún khô, bún nước, mì, bánh canh, etc. What was phenomenal though, was that it was the first time that a server replied to me in Vietnamese. My typical interaction in a Vietnamese restaurant in New York or Connecticut would go more like this:
Me (in Vietnamese): 1 tô phở đặc biệt ạ (one bowl of special pho please),
The server (in English): You want number 14?
I don't know why. But I know that those older folks have no problem understanding me, even though I have a strong Northern accent, and especially since it's such a simple phrase. Anyways it always weirds me out.



Broadway, Chicago. In this block, you can see: two Vietnamese restaurants, a DVD shop, and a dentist's.

Mexico, here I come?

So far the internship in Mexico is the best after-graduation option for me: the job seems stimulating, the commitment is not long, and I get paid, not much, but enough to get by on a budget. Normally I'd jump up at the chance to go anywhere, and I've started the paperwork - and it might not go through - but I'm actually not that thrilled this time.

This is my second bout of travel guilt. I distinctly remember the first one. I was in Hawai'i; I had hardly started traveling back then, but I was at the high of my idealist militancy, and I felt like I should have gone home and got myself integrated in some kind of social movement, started building network, etc. instead of bumming around. All of this was weighing down my mind until I met an old hobo from Cali on a bus ride in the Big Island. I confided in him and he gave me his words of wisdom: it's ok - you're going to places and meeting people and learning; it will enrich you as a person and you will be more of help to others later in life.

His assurance has helped me got through the past few years with few moments of doubt. I've constantly told myself: I'm young, I want to see the world, I want to learn from other people. And it's true. I owe so much to the relationships that I've built and/or kept while being away from home: old friends that stay with me, new ones that I've made, strangers that take me in, feed me, look out for me. They encourage, inspire, essentially shape me into who I am. I've learned tremendously.

But at this moment, I really don't know if I can use the same "excuse" to justify spending 5 months in Mexico City, doing something that I'm interested in but not as a career. I just feel like once I graduate, I should head-dive right into the chosen path, learning more skills in either a social service or a policy setting. But maybe 5 months is not terribly long, summer will come and I'll head home? Maybe I can afford some procrastination?

More problems with travel document

... this time from the Vietnamese embassy. My passport expires in April, and since I might go to Mexico comes the end of school, I'm trying to renew it now. Went to the website of the embassy in DC, downloaded the form, which says that there's a fee but doesn't say how much. Is that possible? Yes. (It also says that it may take a month or more to issue a new passport. Is that possible? I don't know.)

Anyways, I picked up my phone to call the embassy to straighten things out. That was on Monday. Today's Friday. I've been calling 5 - 7 times every day, morning, noon, afternoon, and no one ever picks up. Is that possible? So far yes.

I'm desperate. And I couldn't help laughing. Maybe I shouldn't have. But it's too ludicrous, makes a good story to tell I guess.

I haven't posted here for so long. Countless reasons, including:

• i went to Mumbai where i got my visa. After Mumbai, i spent most of the rest of my time in India traveling, except for a few days in Ahm' where i was busy packing, saying bye to people, etc.
  
• my Chirstmas/farewell gift from my roommate and her family was a dairy. So i had two beautiful journal notebooks (the other one is from Anna) and no reason for not using them.
• it was easier to write journal than blog when i was traveling. Internet was expensive and unreliable.
  
• once i'm back to school, i barely have time. I barely keep my journal any more, but will try to post more regularly here.

Some updates:

• THE big thing: my parents might adopt. The kid's parents passed away, but he still has 2 or 3 aunts and uncles and they haven't made up their mind yet. We don't know if they want to have someone adopt the kid or not, and if yes, whom they're gonna pick. If things go through, i'll have a brother, sort of weird 'cause i've been the younger child for already 20 years.
  
• my senior essay is going nowhere, but i've been reading a lot on Vietnam which makes me really want to go back this summer (unlike the last one), but the chance of me getting enough money to fly home is kinda slim
• so i've been thinking about going Peru. Peru because, just because. I want to pick up some Spanish, and it's fucking cheap to go there - $400 for a round trip, and i figure i can find work at hostels in exchange for room and board while hanging out there.
  
• and maybe Montreal too. Ysa was here a month ago, it was great, and she's coming down again soon and we'll spend a wk in NYC. She'll be in Montreal for the whole summer, which gets me thinking maybe i should go visit her.
• i missed the winter so much when i was in India. Now i'm absolutely sick of it, just want the spring to come, and get myself out of new england.
  

travel fever

sometimes it feels like a fever:
where should i go?
should i stay in Jodhpur for a couple of days before Jaisalmer or should i stop there on the way back?
which train runs there and when? what is the most convenient, time saving train connection?
will i have enough time to rest?
constantly, constantly... wishing i'd have a little more time [and money].

guilt ridden

I feel guilty about being away, leaving my parents by themselves at home. They don't need anything from me, they just need my presence.

I feel guilty about staying and traveling in this "unsafe" country. My parents get worried too much and too often.

I feel guilty about not telling them all and exactly what i do when i travel, about always toning things down so that my parents can accept them more easily.

I feel guilty 'cause despite all this feeling, i still cannot stop.

incredible india

never a country that's so rich
colors,
sounds,
smells

being a girl means

people tend to be on the look out for you, to go out of their way to help you

you're unlikely to get into a fight with a stranger

you can see married women who never show their faces to any men not directly related to them (father, brothers, children), except the husband.

It also means:
feticide
infanticide

In India, a conservative estimate claims 0.5 million missing girls a year.

In China, the sex ratio is 119.6 male : 100 female (CIA world factbook reports an 111:100), compared to the global 105:100. In the two southern provinces of Hainan and Guangdong, it's 135.6 and 130.3, respectively. This skewed ratio has lead to a constant threat of cross-border kipnapping for Vietnamese women.

It doesn't spare the "developed" South Korea and Taiwan either. No wonder about the overseas bride demand.

just browsed through Lev's blog on his travels to Palestine/Israel this past summer. Emotions stirred up again.

the Kolkata experience

- The second time that everyone around me is eyeing me without discreet because of my physical difference. The first time was in Algeria. Except that this time the boys aren't murmuring or screaming "Chinoise" to my face. And except that this time sellers and service workers of all types are trying to get more rupees out of me. Uhm, I'm probably biased. They try to do that to everyone inexperienced, Indians and non-Indians alike.

- Surprisingly low number of non South Asians on the street. First count: first day, 2 East Asian looking persons. Second count: second day, while roaming around the downtown area, some East Asians, some whites.

- Rickshaw, bus, tram, metro, auto, auto, rickshaw: that's how i got around the first day. I think i've put my butt on every single kind of public transport here. And one reason why you shouldn't expose too much of your flesh here is that it IS crowded, well except on the rickshaw.

In one of these auto-rickshaws, about 1.2 m in width, I once found myself with 1 high school boy plus 5 full-sized Indian adults, by which I mean people whose body girth is 1.5 to 2.5 times bigger than mine.

- Coming here after having retrained myself in Vietnam for + 2 months, I was still in total shock at the driving mentality. Autos dodge to the right, sway back to the left. The drivers here can certainly compete with their Algerian or Vietnamese counterparts; and I suspect that they'd win. Sometimes you find, only a few meters in front of your auto, hundreds of vehicles all rushing toward you. Another time, the back edge of a huge bus only half a span from your thigh.
Another scenario: inside a tunnel, cramped with cars and autos and buses, all within a few milimeters from each other, ALL HONKING, for no reasons, just like a fashion thing to do.

i cried on the plane, not because i was homesick or anything, but i just felt bad for my parents.
...
arrived in Kolkata
and it doesn't take long to shine on me again why i love going abroad so much. the people, the food, histories and stories.

no head or no heart?

picked Dave up at Daewoo hotel, went to look for a xe om driver to take him home. Seeing his white skin, they decided to double the price. I could have easily paid 15,000VND but didn't like that attitude so I bargained. All of them made a volte face and started berating me.

at each crossroad, after the red light's turned green, everyone, lips tightened, struggles to speed forward, but sometimes no one can move because it's too crowded. And for some reason, people still honk endlessly. What do they think it'd solve? I notice that most of them drive (or at least the honk sounds like it comes from a car).

today when we got to Canh, there were cars in both directions so they slowed down so as not to scratch each other. Some motorbikes "mindlessly" took to the left and ended up stopping right in front of the cars going in the other direction. Traffic Jam!

Sometimes it's just hard to understand. Is it because they think for themselves (although in the long run they don't gain a thing) or because they can't think for others?

the best joke ever

I just stumbled upon globorati, "the latest word in luxury travel." First step, check out to see what Vietnam has to offer; there might be something to pass along to my CS comrades. (Seriously, no sarcasm there) .

A click on the country's name redirects me to this recommendation of a bike tour that groups together 5 countries of south east asian mainland.
Let it ride:

After all, biking tours no longer mean roughing it among calf-swollen backpackers: now that it’s been dubbed “a beneficiary of the 21st century zeitgeist,” vacation pedal power is the new darling of the eco-intelligentsia.

Oh yes, just perfect for the "green-minded" travelers. Some other highlights in their itinerary:

Just thank your private Challenger jet as it wings you from Burma’s western plateau [...] to the UNESCO Heritage streets of Hoi An in central Vietnam. And in the evenings, as B&R’s crack team tunes your hybrid bike for yet another adventure, you’ll recoup your legs in plush accommodations [...] Here, in your raised pavilion suite, you’ll want to spend quality time in your soaking tub. Or you can seek out the spa, consistently rated among the world's best.

and you would think that on such a site they would not dare poke fun at their readers/customers.

peregrinating

I first learned this word thanks to Sara Hoffman; it's her username on couchsurfing. Sounds beautiful.

It's been hard to come to term with my unrealized dream, a.k.a. Israel/Palestine for this summer. But, there's no way other than dealing with it. So i canceled my flight to Tel-Aviv, decided to go home, got my ticket, wrote to my parents and friends, contacted people for volunteer opportunities and dancing classes, etc. all within a span of 36 hours.

And i fancy some peregrination, first on the way home, crossing overland from Bangkok, through Laos, to Ha Noi. I had to cancel it though, after learning that one of my best friends from elementary school would be leaving for the whole summer to visit her family in Ukraine. I decided to fly instead so that I'd be able to spend a couple of days with her.

But in August, when i go to India, it would look like this: from Sai Gon (Ho Chi Minh city), take a boat or ferry to Phnom Penh, continue up to Siem Reap, and then down again to Battambang (i heard it's magnificent). I'm not sure if it'd work from Sai Gon to Phnom Penh, but in any case, i can always take the bus. From Battambang to Bangkok, not sure if there's a train or only a bus, doesn't matter any way. Fly from Bangkok to Calcutta, and then board the train from Calcutta to Ahmedabad, which takes about 35 hours to literally cross India from East to West.

At the end of my stay in Ahmedabad, which will be in mid-December, I'll still have a month before the spring semester starts at Wesleyan. And here's THE ambition:
From Delhi, take the train to Amritsa, cross the border to Lahore, board the train all the way down to Karachi, up again to Quetta to take another one to Zahedan. (Rumors has it that this line has been canceled). Once in Zahedan, take the bus to Bam, train again up to Tehran, and finally another one to Damacus via Turkey.

The biggest concern is, not so surprisingly, getting visa for Pakistan, Iran, and Syria (maybe even Turkey?) when i'm in India. It's always more complicated in a third country. And even if that happens, what would the U.S. consulate say to my face when they see all those visas?

i've tried my best

so it doesn't work.
the Paris consulate no.
the Marseille consulate no.
Zajel said up front that they would not be able to help. FFIPP confirmed that they were aware of the situation but never followed up.
Friends no
Couchsurfers no
the only thing that i didn't do was go to the local synagogue. but who'd have the guts to go begging people they don't know, especially when it's such a weird request? i know i don't. although the people on couchsurfing that i asked were basically strangers as well, they belong to a certain kind. well, they're not humans. who would be stupid enough to put up stranger and treat them like old time friends? oh, maybe they're humans, and they're among the best.
to Israel/Palestine, all i can say is maybe another time.

Vietnamese passport

Up to this point, the only time that i've felt thankful to my vietnamese passport was when i went to Algeria. French nationals have to pay 30 euros; i got it for free (plus a handshake from the guy). Never before had i felt so welcome, but they didn't cut me any slack either.

Other than that, it always make me want to cry...
Except for ASEAN countries, no matter where i go, i have to scramble around, going through all the hassle, and paying a not so insignificant amount of money. Perhaps partly because tourists from other countries (a.k.a. U.S. and Europe) don't have it that easy with Viet Nam either. It's not like Latin America or North Africa where they can just lug their suicases/backpacks up to the border (or airport) gate, get a stamp, and they can good morning Vietnam.

I've always been against the whole visa thing for ideological reasons but i've never been more frustrated than recently.
For a tourist visa to Israel, the consulate requires that i have a carte de séjour valid for at least 6 months after the date of return. I'm simply here for a semester and my visa lasts until the middle of june. I'll peace out and I'm not coming back. I tried to explain that i'm done with France but apparently, that was not good enough for them. I "terrorize" them almost every day with phone calls. They must find me really fucking annoying. I can't get hold of them anymore and they don't even care to return my messages. Don't know if i should be sad or angry.

In necessity, invent! Well, "invent," (i'm not much of a creative person). I thought about going to one of Israel's neighboring countries (there are 3 of them: Egypt, Turkey, and Jordan) and once I was there, I'd try to apply for a visa saying I was traveling in the Middle East, hoping that it'd look more legit. Un petit problème: Vietnam is among 20 countries (out of 200?) whose citizens need a visa prior to their arrival. And the guy i talked with at the Israeli consulate said that even if i got to the border, no guarantee that it'd be easier. How pathethic is this?!