hay que vivir bonito

Hello world and hello friends that stumble on my blog from time to time,

Here's another attempt at jotting down my life.

Biggest news is that I'm back in Vietnam after 7 years. The typical reaction from relatives, friends, acquaintances was: Why did you come back? Why didn't you just get married and settle abroad? It's so chaotic back here you won't be able to stand it.

There are various reasons, one being my stubbornness to prove myself, to prove that i can make it back here. It hasn't been smooth. After years of living life the way you want it, moving back with any parents would be hard. Riding around in scooter is stressful; sometimes i feel like my head would explode if i heard another honk. I miss the ocean, miss the smell of salt, miss the taste of it when i lick my lips. And perhaps a time of more innocence and less worry.

I worked briefly at a planning institute and fought a lot with mom and dad so that i could quit. It tired and depressed me to listen to pretty words from people who would do nothing close to what they say (or worse, the opposite of what they say). They say patience. What you need is patience to get to the place where you can do what you want. But no thank you, i can't live with pretentiousness.

While waiting to quit that job, thanks to Ngoc, i started working at a PR firm (her workplace). It kept me sane. The work was straightforward. I knew what i was doing and why i was doing it.

And now after 4 months of digging for directions, I got another chance. I already know there will be some big challenges and it will be trying both physically and psychologically. But i'll get to do something that is meaningful to me because it serves a greater good.

Sometimes I read back my blog and journal entries, and come across advice that people (usually random strangers) gave me about life. And i'd always cry. They all tell me to be who i am. Maybe because they're not my mom and don't have to fret about my future. Still, that's what i need to hear from time to time: do what you believe in.

bye bye US

I finally got my visa on Thursday, after 6 visits to the Mexican consulate. I was sad that I would not see the receptionist and the two security guards anymore; they were always very sympathetic each time they saw me turn up at the door looking both helpless and exasperated.

Today's my last day in Oakland, and maybe in the U.S. I might not be able to come back to the States when I'm done with my internship in May. I've been thinking about the 3.5 years that I've spent here. I have changed so much and yet I am still the same person. I still feel many things that I felt when I first left home and came here the summer of 2005. But this may be something that I can better think about when I'm in Mexico.

Anyways, it has felt real good to have something to look forward to so that my days wouldn't feel so pointless. Over the next few months, I won't have to worry about how to occupy my time every morning when I wake up. I have so many plans for Mexico, to work hard, to meet people and get to know the city, to live on and only on the $500/month stipend, to have my friends come over to visit, to hopefully find a Bharatanatyam class, etc.

Mexico, here I come.

graduated

sin cadenas - unchained
Without changed on my feet
I started to walk

Wish me luck on this journey.