hay que vivir bonito

Hello world and hello friends that stumble on my blog from time to time,

Here's another attempt at jotting down my life.

Biggest news is that I'm back in Vietnam after 7 years. The typical reaction from relatives, friends, acquaintances was: Why did you come back? Why didn't you just get married and settle abroad? It's so chaotic back here you won't be able to stand it.

There are various reasons, one being my stubbornness to prove myself, to prove that i can make it back here. It hasn't been smooth. After years of living life the way you want it, moving back with any parents would be hard. Riding around in scooter is stressful; sometimes i feel like my head would explode if i heard another honk. I miss the ocean, miss the smell of salt, miss the taste of it when i lick my lips. And perhaps a time of more innocence and less worry.

I worked briefly at a planning institute and fought a lot with mom and dad so that i could quit. It tired and depressed me to listen to pretty words from people who would do nothing close to what they say (or worse, the opposite of what they say). They say patience. What you need is patience to get to the place where you can do what you want. But no thank you, i can't live with pretentiousness.

While waiting to quit that job, thanks to Ngoc, i started working at a PR firm (her workplace). It kept me sane. The work was straightforward. I knew what i was doing and why i was doing it.

And now after 4 months of digging for directions, I got another chance. I already know there will be some big challenges and it will be trying both physically and psychologically. But i'll get to do something that is meaningful to me because it serves a greater good.

Sometimes I read back my blog and journal entries, and come across advice that people (usually random strangers) gave me about life. And i'd always cry. They all tell me to be who i am. Maybe because they're not my mom and don't have to fret about my future. Still, that's what i need to hear from time to time: do what you believe in.

don't read the bible, read the beatles

That's my graduation advice.
I left Wes at 10 a.m. this morning and am staying in New York for a couple of days. I arrived in the city and went out for lunch with Ivy and Keith at a Mexican restaurant. It's a small cosy place, red and blue alternating on the walls and on the tables. The man working at the burrito bar, who I assumed owns the place, suddenly started singing. I couldn't make out what language he was singing in, but his voice was surprisingly good. He reached all the high notes, while still having the male raspiness. When he came to our table with the food, I told him how much I liked his voice. He asked if I was a singer. I laughed, assuring him that it's one of the things that I could never do: I'm terrible with pitch and always sing out of tune. He later came back to the table and asked me: What do you want to do in life? I was struck that someone would ask me that question just a few hours after I left college, but I didn't want to take it very serious so I just laughed again and replied: definitely not singing. The man, still looking at me in the eyes, said: That's ok, but look deep into yourself and ask what you really want to be, and let it be. And you can only be good at it with lots of practice, it takes hard work, but let it be, be yourself. You know the Beatles' song? Let it be. Don't read the Bible, read the Beatles.
Thank you for your words of wisdom.

a friendly reminder to self

hey you little girl!

why are you still being so selfish? any joy that comes to any person around you should also makes you happy, no? especially when they're your friends! you know there's no reason to get envious. grow up!