On the road again... soon enough

I started this blog and decided to name it "musing on the road: here, there, and everywhere" right before I left France the summer of 2008. France was the official start of my traveling curse, which I was more than grateful to embrace. A couple of short trips, one to the Balearic islands, the other to Algeria, and at the end of my time in France, I knew that I didn't want to come back to the U.S. right away. I ended up in India. And after that, punctuated with semesters back in school were months in Peru, Mexico, and Cuba. I went as far as my time and finance would permit. The finale was 2 beautiful years in Hawaii. I was there for school so technically I can't call it traveling. But the islands are so beautiful I just have to brag about them.

I always thought that once i got back home i'd not be able to travel much again, that i'd have to settle down so to speak.

My prediction seemed to come true when i moved back. 4 months locked down in Hanoi. But now with this new job, half of my work time is on the road, here, there, and everywhere (but all within Vietnam of course). I think it'd suit me just fine. I'm excited to see parts of the country that I'm not at all familiar with. I'm excited that i don't work 9-5; i don't even have an office to work in for that matter. What more could a undisciplined soul ask for? I could already see a host of my friends nodding: Yeah you'd totally do something like that. I guess i'm just that predictable, people!

Tomorrow, the journey starts again. I'm nervous, almost like the first time I stepped out on the road, arm out thumb up, having absolutely no idea what was gonna happen. It might seem funny to people but I feel less safe in my own country than in other places (and yes, I traveled by myself to very conservative regions in Algeria and India). I'm Vietnamese, and have to play by the Vietnamese rules. Much less leeway than when I'm abroad and can fake ignorance to do what pleases me.

In a week, I'll know if I like the aftertaste.

hay que vivir bonito

Hello world and hello friends that stumble on my blog from time to time,

Here's another attempt at jotting down my life.

Biggest news is that I'm back in Vietnam after 7 years. The typical reaction from relatives, friends, acquaintances was: Why did you come back? Why didn't you just get married and settle abroad? It's so chaotic back here you won't be able to stand it.

There are various reasons, one being my stubbornness to prove myself, to prove that i can make it back here. It hasn't been smooth. After years of living life the way you want it, moving back with any parents would be hard. Riding around in scooter is stressful; sometimes i feel like my head would explode if i heard another honk. I miss the ocean, miss the smell of salt, miss the taste of it when i lick my lips. And perhaps a time of more innocence and less worry.

I worked briefly at a planning institute and fought a lot with mom and dad so that i could quit. It tired and depressed me to listen to pretty words from people who would do nothing close to what they say (or worse, the opposite of what they say). They say patience. What you need is patience to get to the place where you can do what you want. But no thank you, i can't live with pretentiousness.

While waiting to quit that job, thanks to Ngoc, i started working at a PR firm (her workplace). It kept me sane. The work was straightforward. I knew what i was doing and why i was doing it.

And now after 4 months of digging for directions, I got another chance. I already know there will be some big challenges and it will be trying both physically and psychologically. But i'll get to do something that is meaningful to me because it serves a greater good.

Sometimes I read back my blog and journal entries, and come across advice that people (usually random strangers) gave me about life. And i'd always cry. They all tell me to be who i am. Maybe because they're not my mom and don't have to fret about my future. Still, that's what i need to hear from time to time: do what you believe in.

more life updates

Haven't been writing here, and for a good reason. I've got better at entrying my journal, and it's just too much work to keep up with both.

Things have been going smoothly, and at the same time overwhelming, and that's not an oxymoron. I'm pleased with everything that I have going on here, but it's just a little too much on my plate right now.

We have a Bharatanatyam performance in 2 days. I'm only dancing a short piece, but it's still a ton of work. We have at least 3 practices each week, and last weekend, we were away in Tepotzlan at Paty's (my teacher) house to rehearse.

In the office, I've pretty much been by myself. Laura, the other intern (now a former intern), already left at the beginning of this month for a job at a law firm. Every day, I have to answer all the emails, all the phone calls, talk with everyone who walks into our center, and at the same time, put together on several presentations (state promotions for Illinois, test preps), draft the newsletter and continue working on two big projects: study group and pre-departure orientation. The way I usually work is concentrate and be productive for a couple of hours, then slow down for about half an hour, and then restart my engine. With all these deadlines coming down on me bam bam bam, I hardly even have time to breath, let alone slow down.

Also work-related, met with Megan for a mid-term evaluation, and learned more crucial lessons on professionalism. I love walking barefoot, and have a problem keeping my shoes on. Especially when i sit at one place (a.k.a. in front of the computer in the office) for a long time, I have the habit of kicking my shoes out, and then I'd get up and walk around barefoot. I also need to change my postures from time to time, and that may mean sitting cross-legged on my chair. All of this looks casual and unprofessional. Another thing that Megan brought up was my style of communication. She said I was too blunt and a little too casual with higher-up like Alan, which is totally true. While I understand that Alan is the top boss, it's hard to avoid chitchatting with him. We speak in English (i tend to be very casual in English) and he makes you feel like you're one of his best pals. And when I don't feel distant from someone, I can also be very direct. Also, (unfortunately), it's hard for me to "praise" or complement to people of higher ranks. It feels both inappropriate (they're the boss after all - they don't need my evaluation) and too ass-kissing. Maybe I just need to learn how. Or maybe someone can teach me another way to look at it that is not: making your boss feel good about him/herself so that you can become a favorite --> puke

grad school updates

Mundus.Public.Policy: rejected
NYU: as good as rejected, i.e. accepted with barely any aids (very typical)
Princeton: dubious app status
Mundus.Urbano & East.West.Center: pending

updates on professional life

Yesterday, I gave half of a presentation on "how to choose a college major" ... in Spanish! I thought it went pretty well and I did a decent job in explaining - especially to the parents - the confusing system of a liberal arts education: how a major is just a part of your whole undergraduate degree, what it means to major or minor, how it is possible to have a major and a minor, two majors at the same time, etc. I was proud that I managed to stick to most of the public speaking principles that I've learned: energy level, interactiveness, eye contact, etc. and that I was fumbling on my Spanish. Still, I need to get the feedback from Megan.

On a less positive note, I just received a rejection email from Mundus M.A.P.P, the Master program in Public Policy in Europe. It's a downright rejection and strangely, I don't feel that rejected --- maybe i'll start tormenting myself once i've had time to chew on it more, but right now it's just a bummer.

the invisibility of disaster

I'd read about the torrential rain in Cusco (and other regions in Peru) this year from the Peruvian blogs that I follow, but it only made international news when the tourists got trapped in Machu Picchu/Aguas Calientes after the Urubamba river swelled up and cut off the railroad tracks, forcing the government into helicoptering them back to Cusco. What never seemed to make the news is the ruined lives of the indigenous who live in pueblitos in the mountains, whose house have been destroyed, whose little stock of food has been swept away.

Lunar New Year in Mexico

which was also Valentine's this year, was spent in Veracruz carnavaling.

The parade itself was ok. The seats were charged 60 pesos each. I didn't pay - we were among the illegals - but still thought it should have been free for all. There were raised platforms everywhere along the seafront where the parade took place. Before and after the parade, each of these platforms had their own programs to entertain the public. Some had bands playing, but most were just doing stupid games where half-naked or almost naked people humped each other on stage: guys-girls, guys-guys, girls-girls. I was really glad that I was with a couple of (Mexican) guys. I wouldn't have felt comfortable at all if I had been with just the girls.

The beer and the dancing were the best part - it's a party after all. On Saturday, after the parade had ended around midnight, we headed to a free salsa concert by a supposedly very well-known singer from Puerto Rico. I was pretty bad in the beginning - could barely follow the beats, but I did manage to learn a few steps by the end. Latin American guys are just so gracious when they dance *sigh*. There was an American girl in our group, Chelsea, who studied abroad in Columbia, and she danced super. I have to be honest to say that I was a little jealous to see her move. On Sunday, we started drinking around 4:30 p.m. and I didn't sleep that night - was out until 5 in the morning. We walked from street to street, and stopped to dance whenever we came across a mariachi band or even if it was just a cervezaria blasting out music.