googled myself

To see how popular i am. Clearly i'm not. Only a couple of results popped up. That hurt my ego a little bit ;) but at least i don't have anything to fear for my future job apps. Anyways, i came across this photo in the Wes Connection newsletter, taken in the fall or 2005, in front of church

can't wait for it to end

I rarely ever say that i don't like something or someone and people think i'm just trying to be diplomatic. The simple truth is that i don't have the "extreme" personality. I might feel upset, disappointed, irritated or whatever, but in the end i don't hold much feeling about that person. I honestly can't think of anyone that i actively dislike [must be someone who constantly lies and cheats, and luckily i have never ran into such a person] and there are very few that i don't like, so it surprised me how much i don't like Mr. J., given that i haven't spent that much amount of time here. I can barely stand the time that i spend in his presence [or he spends in my presence]. It's all bullshit.

travel fever

sometimes it feels like a fever:
where should i go?
should i stay in Jodhpur for a couple of days before Jaisalmer or should i stop there on the way back?
which train runs there and when? what is the most convenient, time saving train connection?
will i have enough time to rest?
constantly, constantly... wishing i'd have a little more time [and money].

guilt ridden

I feel guilty about being away, leaving my parents by themselves at home. They don't need anything from me, they just need my presence.

I feel guilty about staying and traveling in this "unsafe" country. My parents get worried too much and too often.

I feel guilty about not telling them all and exactly what i do when i travel, about always toning things down so that my parents can accept them more easily.

I feel guilty 'cause despite all this feeling, i still cannot stop.