breast

yay! everyone's fav topic.

Vietnamese: small, mostly As and smaller. Seems to have been so forever and i haven't seen much change in the past 10 years or so despite our diet heading into a new path. And for stupid reasons, we are still so embarrassed about it and can't embrace it as part of our figure and feature.

French: have to say i'm not quite sure since i was there for only 6 months and it was cold most of the time so despite their fashionableness, people bundled up (in black or grey) so it was hard to judge. I'd say mostly As and Bs, look quite proportional to their shape.

American: huge. I've seen guys in Vietnam goggled their eyes out at Bs. In the U.S. Bs and Cs are such a common sight. Ds are fewer, but you still see them around.

Indian: have the most beautiful breasts that i've ever seen, no matter what size they are, from the skinniest to the chubbiest.

A side note: In the U.S, i wear an XS, sometimes an S, hate that feeling when i go shopping and find that every top and dress looks weird on me because of the bubble that my breast can't fill in.
In France, I wear an S, clothes generally don't have that breast "pocket" and plus, once i wear bras, my breasts have better shape so they fit better. However, my American friends had a lot of trouble finding something that gave their breasts enough space to breath.
In VN, I wear an M or an L (!?!?!) And sometimes, I ind things that would look like a binder on me, even when I've taken off my bras. Crazy. And have to keep in mind that my breasts are super small, like a typical Vietnamese.

just read - a bend in the river

sounds like a stupid thing to say, but no book has given me such a clear insight into the history of Africa, the ambivalent legacy that new independent states inherit from colonialism.

from Kolkata to Ahmedabad

In Kolkata, the women don't seem to care about the scorching sun and the suffocating dust, such a fresh switch from the Vietnamese with our own "hijab" (only eyes shown), and the Singaporean who seek refuge under awnings.
In Ahmedabad, women also wear "hijab" though all of them are clearly not Muslim. I was surprised and my first thought was maybe these girls just wanted to avoid stares on the street by covering up. And how ignorant i was. They have the same concern and came up with almost the same solution as Vietnamese. I have to give them credit because their scarfs look so much more elegant than our ninja masks, but maybe not protective (read hard-core) enough to our standard.

internet cafe registration

Full name, Full address, ID/Passport number, and Phone number. For God's fucking sake!

I don't think i'd ever keep bird and fish. The other day, i was watching the fish tank and saw this fish that kept pushing itself to the glass. Of course it's impossible to know if it wanted to break out or if it was simply amusing itself. Still, even if some of them get used to their idle simple life, some others must get so bored and depressed.

why internship is great

4th day in A'bad and 3rd day in the office and a few important things that I realized some time before are reinforced:

- sitting at one place makes me feel restless, gluing my eyes to the computer exhausts me physically and mentally (wonder how computer engineers can cope with that exhaustion). Pacing around the office space is not enough to unleash my energy. I don't think I'd be able to content myself with a 9-5 office job.

- i CANNOT stay with someone 24/7, unless said person gives me some reasonable personal space, i.e. doesn't require me to communicate and to be present with him all the time, i can choose when i want to talk or listen.

- i don't really talk about what i've accomplished, or for that matter, merely what i've done in my life, to people that i don't know well. Yes, i can chit chat and drop in some details from time to time to build up the rapport and confidence, but no more. And I welcome people to confide in me, it makes for easy conversation, and I do think of myself as a sympathetic (and sometimes even empathetic) listener, but no more than that! Incessant talking kills all the fun in verbal exchange, especially when i'm NOT asking any questions. It tires and bores me. And if it revolves mainly around personal achievements, it breeds nothing but the reverse effect on me because I've grown more and more allergic/aversed to anything akin to a personality cult.

- i need a supporting work environment, which fortunately i'm having, and which includes: friendly coworkers, and supervisors who guide, not dictate or impose on me.

- diversity in my activities is one of my existential needs; i have to split myself up; i am simply not able to get consumed in one single thing

- pros and cons of working with people whose mother tongue I don't understand (will expand on this regarding traveling): people's amusement with me trying to learn a few Hindi phrases, their eagerness (and mine) to overcome our different accents, etc. The other side of it is that it's unlikely that i'll develop any deep relationship with my coworkers, with language being such an essential part in the way i communicate with the world. I don't really know what's going on in the office, the dynamics, the talk, the argument and conflict (if they do exist) and how they're resolved. I'd want to learn not only professional, but also relationship skills. For that reason, I'm distancing myself from the search of an internship next summer in some place like Japan. My Japanese has degraded rapidly, in an out of control manner and it'd take a lot of time to rebuff it.

Just read: The Inheritance of Loss

a novel exploring extremely complex and intertwined issues: interethnic relationship, nationalism, immigration, uprising, globalization, the making of history, etc. in a series of everyday stories. It seems straightforward enough, but the perspicacity could hardly come from someone who hasn't spent time in another part of the world, seeing another angle of the apple. Immigrants, or just people who move in general, do have that opportunity of stringing together the pieces.

In light of the ongoing Jammu-Kashmir upheaval and the Georgia-South Ossetia controversial break, it brought back the questions that I've stuck with for a long time: How can you know that your acts are of your true desire and not of a mob mentality? That they are a dedication to the cause and not an abuse of the cause? When you've already been part of the whirlwind, how can you cut yourself off, take a step aside to see which way it's going? What's the difference between a personal revenge and a public punishment? Can either be justified?

just browsed through Lev's blog on his travels to Palestine/Israel this past summer. Emotions stirred up again.

the Kolkata experience

- The second time that everyone around me is eyeing me without discreet because of my physical difference. The first time was in Algeria. Except that this time the boys aren't murmuring or screaming "Chinoise" to my face. And except that this time sellers and service workers of all types are trying to get more rupees out of me. Uhm, I'm probably biased. They try to do that to everyone inexperienced, Indians and non-Indians alike.

- Surprisingly low number of non South Asians on the street. First count: first day, 2 East Asian looking persons. Second count: second day, while roaming around the downtown area, some East Asians, some whites.

- Rickshaw, bus, tram, metro, auto, auto, rickshaw: that's how i got around the first day. I think i've put my butt on every single kind of public transport here. And one reason why you shouldn't expose too much of your flesh here is that it IS crowded, well except on the rickshaw.

In one of these auto-rickshaws, about 1.2 m in width, I once found myself with 1 high school boy plus 5 full-sized Indian adults, by which I mean people whose body girth is 1.5 to 2.5 times bigger than mine.

- Coming here after having retrained myself in Vietnam for + 2 months, I was still in total shock at the driving mentality. Autos dodge to the right, sway back to the left. The drivers here can certainly compete with their Algerian or Vietnamese counterparts; and I suspect that they'd win. Sometimes you find, only a few meters in front of your auto, hundreds of vehicles all rushing toward you. Another time, the back edge of a huge bus only half a span from your thigh.
Another scenario: inside a tunnel, cramped with cars and autos and buses, all within a few milimeters from each other, ALL HONKING, for no reasons, just like a fashion thing to do.

i cried on the plane, not because i was homesick or anything, but i just felt bad for my parents.
...
arrived in Kolkata
and it doesn't take long to shine on me again why i love going abroad so much. the people, the food, histories and stories.

not much of a TV person, but 2 shows that i'd love to go see live:
Taratata
and of course
The Colbert Report



God, he's so sexy! xox